Lintang Puspitasari (Words of Lintang): BETWEEN THE REAL AND THE NEVERLAND Chapter 12 ( JB FanFiction/JBFF)

BETWEEN THE REAL

AND

THE NEVERLAND

Real Life is Real Life

Neverland isn’t Called Never Land for Nothing

Chapter 12 : A Key Is Always Worth Fighting For

ere was those time where she would fall to the ground but then she would help herself to stand up and run again.. Yeah she never let her foot stop from running even for a second. In the meantime, the newborns were following her behind, they ran after her slowly and they did such a thing in purpose. It’s a pleasure for them watching her in fear. on the other hand, tears were pouring out from her eyes watering her cheeks without she even realized it. Alex felt like she was on the verge of despair, she knew too well for a fact that this was actually useless for her to keep on running cuz they would get her eventually. She had no idea if help would come this time knowing Justin was nowhere near her. And that was when she realized about something, Justin was the definition of the word “help” itself all this time ever since she stepped her foot in the Neverland. When she was in danger, he would always come up out of nowhere and save her but this time she doubted that. She felt like he was sick of her and that was why he left her there in the wood all alone while she was asleep. That kind of feelings didn’t help at all, she felt uncomfortable thinking about that at the same time as she was running and the next second that happened was something she never thought would happen, she was caught by the hand and pulled to the side of a big tree and that was when she had idea of the one who caught and pulled her, that person gratefully happened to be Justin. He somehow looked so concern but he definitely looked tense and one thing she would immediately notice about him for that time being was that his eyes looked so deadly that it made whoever who saw him would get goosebumps. If eyes could kill sure as hell any 1 would just die the minute they saw him. minutes before she was in fear for the newborns getting her now it was obviously replaced by being in fear of Justin and he didn’t even look or stare at her. he kept his hard and deadly stare to his front and then before one of both even voiced a word, Justin left her again there behind a big tree. She was startled by his sudden move so she remained still. In the meantime, Justin was heading straight to the newborns and finished them all off tremendously and ruthlessly. Meanwhile, Alex didn’t care anymore on what’s going on, she fell to the ground and hugged herself, she was just so tired of everything, she was tired of being scared, being not safe and being chased by people she didn’t even know. She hugged herself and sobbed right behind the big tree but then it sounded more like a crying than just another sobbing.
“u ok?” a voiced asked Alex who was still crying while hugging herself. She knew whose voice that was, instead of lifting her head up or responding him, she just remained still.
“I’m sorry” he said. He was kneeling down right in front of her so that they’re in the same position.
“I’m scared” she was saying between her tears
“I’m really sorry for leaving u there, I just wanted to look for water for you but you know I’ve made sure that ur surroundings was safe. But I was wrong as u can see” he said in gritted teeth somehow.
She didn’t give any sign that she would respond him and he figured that quickly. The little human girl was just in a great fear. he then just sat beside her not knowing what to do but he wanted to just hug her tight n tell her that he’s there and everything’s gonna be alright but he had a hard time to do just that. So they both were just there behind the big tree sitting side by side, Alex hugging herself hiding her messed up face n Justin sitting right next to her watching her hoping she would stop crying already. He felt pity and something he couldn’t comprehend hitting him as he’s watching her.
“please stop crying” he whispered
Sure she heard him and that was just exactly what she really wished she could do but it felt like it was not even tears anymore it was like a waterfall. She tried to control herself. The fear the anxiety the hurt, all those feelings kept on hitting her weak soul and she could do nothing but cry. it was real hard to control herself at the time being knowing she might have just hit her button already. In the middle of putting herself together to stop crying, she still noticed how Justin’s voice sounded different as the usual. He never sounded that low, he never sounded like he cared when he spoke but this time he sounded care and so low and it did catch a lot of alex’ attention. She wanted to lift her head up n see him but she was well aware that she looked so messed up at the time especially that she still hadn’t stopped crying. She didn’t even get it why she even minded it that she would look bad in front of him. She tried to at least hold her tears so it would just be her sobbing so then she could lift her head up
“please..” she heard him once again
And that was it, she lifted her head n saw him right beside her watching her n his face was something she thought she would never find the right words to describe. tense, concern, hurt were all over his face but at the same time he looked emotionless just like the usual.
He kinda felt better seeing her could at least lift her head up n the fact that she was no longer crying so hard anymore n then the next second was the staring contest happened. They both were just staring at each other in the eyes without voicing any words. She was still crying though and she bit her lips hard trying to stop the tears. In actuality he couldn’t stand it seeing her like that. It hurt him but he had no idea about it.
His move kind of surprised her. he wiped her tears n shook his head, a sign for her to just stop crying n the next minute being her laying her head on his shoulder as he’s side hugging her. he didn’t hold back anymore and so did she. They stayed still like that for minutes as her sobbing started to vanish by the seconds. It surprised her that his hug had that ability to comfort her.
“stop crying please” he said as he let out of the hug and stared into her eyes.
She couldn’t voice a word
He held her hand and caressed it.
“please” he said again. he was begging, it was obvious
She did want to say something but she had a hard time to even voice a single word n that was definitely because of too much crying but that didn’t stop her from trying though. She couldn’t help it seeing him begging so she managed to voice a word n once she could, all that came up was “hug me” and it even sounded like she was whispering but sure he could still hear her so he did what she wanted. He hugged her tight and caressed her back and she just hugged him back just as tight.
When they were hugging each other, they both got that feelings they had never once experienced before n they didn’t even have idea about it but they both sure could feel and they loved the feelings.
He released the hug and stared into her eyes n so did she.
“good. Don’t ever cry again” he said
“i..” she was trying to voice a word but she was stopped by her coughing.
In reflex, he held her hand and the other hand held n caressed her back.
“u ok?” he said n that was obvious there was that anxiety in his voice
“yeah” she answered him. The cough apparently helped her to talk just like the usual.
“thank you, Justin” she thanked him from the bottom of her heart.
He smiled at her, still holding her hand.
“sorry for leaving u. I never meant to” he said
“I know. But I was just so scared when I found out u’re not next to me” she was stating the truth.
“I’m sorry!” he said again sincerely n she smiled at him and shook her head telling it was okay now.
“but how could u even know that I nvr meant to leave u there?” he was asking
“I dont know” she answered nonchalantly not rlly knowing what to say.
Justin gave her the look that she couldn’t just tell him that. He demanded a clear answer and she sure knew that.
“I did feel so scared when I knew u’re not with me that I felt like u were maybe sick of me already n that was why u left me n that kind of made me think u left me in purpose but still I don’t know i felt like theres something inside of me telling me u wont ever leave me.” She was trying to explain
“but I don’t know..” she said again lowering her head
He just smiled and held her chin to make her look at him again.
They stared into each other’s eyes again but then Justin broke it and said
“this is..” he was saying but couldn’t even finish his sentence
“what?” she was eager to know what he was about to say
“I don’t know. This is..this feels different” he said again.
“what do you mean?” she was starting to get confused of what he was saying
“have you ever felt like that before?” he asked as he looked into her eyes searching for something real.
“like what ? like what I’ve just told you?”
“uh huh”
“to be honest, no” she admitted
“why?” she asked him as she found out he didn’t give any sign to respond any minute
He shook his head as smiling and said “nothing”
“tell me?” she asked more like begging as she bit her lips hoping his mood wouldn’t change and just stay like this.
He seemed to be in thoughts for some seconds and then he finally smiled a little and looked into her eyes like no one ever would. The look he gave her was intense, concern yet it was sincere somehow. He then moved closer towards her while they kept eyes locked to each other. Alex could feel how she was starting to get a breathing problem and she didn’t have any clue of why. well, what she felt was of course for a reason, the next second, he leaned in and kissed her on the lips. She was startled of his move but she couldn’t bring herself to slap him or anything to release the kiss like she would usually do if there was a guy who even dared to steal a kiss with her. this was the third time he kissed her without any permission but this time she felt something different that the kiss was different. she had no idea why she was being like that. she remained still instead while he was moving his lips on hers as his hands travelling to her body and one was holding her neck gently. There were so many thoughts running through her head at the time and there was none of those about her boyfriend, Joey. She didn’t even think about him or what he would feel if he found out about this. it was like she lost control of herself, she was just enjoying the moment she was having with Justin. On the other side, Justin was still doing his magic kissing her giving her all he got and he only got deeper by the seconds. In actuality though, he was trying his best to keep himself in control not to lose himself with the human girl he was kissing because if he did, he could kill her right there and then just by kissing her and accidently going down to her neck and sucking her blood. He could also feel how the kiss was different. It wasn’t like any kisses he used to have with other girls. He loved the feeling of kissing her that it was hard for him to stop and he was so grateful that she remained calm and didn’t go wild with the kiss but letting him do the favor he liked instead. It made everything easier for him. Meanwhile, Alex was starting to get drown because of the kissing that she kissed him back before she even knew it. That definitely surprised Justin so he automatically released the kiss by throwing himself harshly and that made him spring away to a big tree and hit against it hard. but that didn’t hurt him at all as he just stood there as he leaned himself to the tree. Alex was definitely shocked of that. she caught her breath trying to take a breath like she normally would as she was confused to dead of what had just happened between them, especially to Justin.
“what happened ?” she asked with her confused look as she bit her lips
“no. nothing.” He replied short
And that made Alex afraid of his mood that probably changed at that right moment. She was starting to feel hurt as she lowered her head down to the ground.
“hey.. don’t feel bad or anything. you didn’t do anything wrong” he finally explained a little. She still didn’t lift her head up so he decided to approach her and stand right in front of her.
“hey, Alexis, you hear me?” he said as he paid his only attention to her
“tell me what happened? Am I not good enough for you? was that bad?” she threw him questions as she lifted her head up and stared at him as biting her lips. She didn’t even have any idea of what she was talking about. Everything just came out from her mouth before she even knew it.
“no. you took that the wrong way.” He said and she just looked at him signaling that she needed to hear more details
“you make a move, even a little one, I can hurt you..” he paused
“or kill you right there and then” he finished his words.
She got even more confused now that she heard his reasoning. Despite of that, she replied him with “I’m sorry”
“no. not your fault at all” he said as he gave her a hug.
Alex couldn’t help but smile for this side of Justin she thought didn’t exist. This was the soft side of him and she sure as hell loved it and felt like she would do anything to keep him that way. They then sat again to have some little rest and didn’t utter any words after what happened. Both could feel the different atmosphere surrounding them, good but awkward at the same time. regardless of the awkward atmosphere, they could feel they felt way more comfortable than before over each other’s company. So both decided to just enjoy the moment at the time.
After 30 minutes or so passed, they finally continued the walk. Even when they were walking, both still didn’t utter any words but it was not like an uncomfortable silent. It was a good one that Alex even felt like if she started to open her mouth it would ruin everything. She couldn’t stop smiling because of the happiness that came over her and she didn’t even know why she was that happy but one thing she knew for sure, the source of it was Justin. he used to be the one who would make her upset and felt like she hated him to dead but now it was like 180 degree, everything changed after everything that happened, after he saved her life time and time. On the other hand, Justin was too much into his own thoughts. He wasn’t really sure of what he was really feeling towards the human girl. the one thing he knew for sure was that he loved being around her and it hurt him to see her miserable. He was so grateful again that she never questioned things because if she did, he probably wouldn’t know how to answer anyway. but at the same time, he was kind of curious of her well being that never questioned stuff lately because when he first met her, he could remember everything that she was nothing but a girl who couldn’t really shut up.
“I noticed you’ve been quite lately. Why?” he suddenly broke the comfortable silent and asked her.
“what?” she responded chuckling hearing his ridiculous question
“well, you heard me” he said as shrugging his shoulders
“umm..actually, that’s just how I am. I’ve always been like that you know” she said chuckling again
“you’re asking me a ridiculous question” she said again
“no I’m not. let me tell you this, when I first met you, you seemed like you had a problem to shut your mouth that it made me wanna kiss you every time you opened your mouth to shut you up” he explained.
“I thought I told you before that I’m actually quite but because of this place, I just feel like I’ve lost my mind. But you know that I’m getting quite every day here right? That’s because that’s just how I really am” she explained
“oh I see now.” He responded
“which one do you like anyway?”
“what?”
“me being quite or noisy?”
“quite of course” he smiled as he glanced at her for a second and that made her smile too.
“why?”
“so I don’t need to kiss you every time or else, I’ll lose control of myself”
She couldn’t help but smile hearing that.
“so, are we still far?” she asked, changing the subject
“yeah definitely”
“okay”
“just tell me if you’re tired”
“yeah”
It was silent again for a couple of minutes till Alex finally became the one who broke the silent now
“so..umm.. I’m just wondering.. do you have a girl now?”
“no”
“so how long have you been single?”
“a long time”
“so you’ve been in a relationship before?” stupid question and she knew that but she regretted nothing asking him that as he was okay with it.
“yeah of course”
“then why don’t you be in a relationship again?”
“seems like the noisy Alexis is comin back to live”
She chuckled hearing that as she replied
“well, you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to”
“I know. what if it’s me now who ask you questions?” he smirked
“okay” she smiled
“okay. So, what was your first question again? oh.. do you have a boy now?”
“uhh to be honest yeah”
“I feel bad if he knows about..”
“shut up” she cut him off knowing where he was going with that
“especially if I tell him you even gave the kiss back to me” he smirked
“no. you don’t wanna tell him. Shut up!” she requested.
“don’t be so mean. I’ve never asked you questions before and now that I do you wanna shut me up?” he said as smirking
“you are way worse than me!” she said as she hit his hand a little and he chuckled.
“so, have you guys been in a long relationship now?”
“yeah. I’ve never been in one before, so he’s my first time”
“seriously?”
“yeah”
“I bet I’m your first kiss”
“don’t start again please”
“so it’s true?” he smirked interesting of the new information he got about her
“and you did it without my permission.” She responded
“well, I’m sorry? I didn’t know right?”
“well, its not like it could stop you if you knew”
“I know” he replied short and fast as he stopped his steps and that made her do the same too.
“I’m sorry for that” he said as he looked into her eyes and she didn’t expect him to say that in such a way to her. he didn’t seem like that type of guy.
“it’s okay now” she replied before she even knew it
“so it was not okay?” he still looked into her eyes making her hard to think straight
“uhhh.. umm.. “ she was having a hard time to speak
“just tell me. I promise I’m not gonna mad about it”
“I told you I hated you right?”
“I thought you never meant it”
“I .. I didn’t even know. maybe you’re right that I didn’t mean it but I just didn’t like it for the way you treated me back then but it’s okay now. Really”
“I promise I wont treat you the way I did before” he sounded so serious of what he said and his eyes could tell her the same too and that made her smile and think that he changed. he was not the same Justin anymore, the Justin that had a mood issue, that was cold and rude. In actuality it was actually only to her. he was still the same Justin to others. They then continued walking again.
When the night came, they finally decided to take a rest as they didn’t bring anything with them to give them some light. In actuality though, Justin didn’t need that kind of stuff, he could still see everything clear like it was just in the daylight. They sat behind a big tree and she laid her head on his shoulder.
“Justin ?” she said breaking the silent
“yeah?”
“have you ever wondered of me having idea of what this people in this land is ?”
“i don’t think I did”
“why?”
“I feel like you know so its useless to wonder things right?”
“uhmm.. really? How do you feel so?”
“I’ve practically caught you being near around us when we’re talking about things or when I was fighting in Maria’s mansion where you were supposed to be in that coffin room. and I recall, you’ve watched how I killed Gerald that night.”
She bit her lips listening to him.
“why..out of everyone, you’re like the one who’s always focus that it makes you know and see everything?”
“that’s the same about you being a quite girl”
“wow.”
“what?”
“nothing. It just seems like you’re just that great in this land”
“I believe even in your land I’ll also be the greatest” he smirked
“yeah” she smiled
“that’s why people are afraid of you. right ?”
“obviously. That’s good cuz then they wont mess with me”
“yeah. so..how important is my blood actually for this land? or so they say to save this land and what? The world too?”
“yeah”
“how important ?”
“I don’t really know actually but yeah it’s important but I think I can kill that bitch if I want to”
“then why didn’t you do that since a long time?”
“I don’t feel like she really has that courage in herself to do that even with the army and stuff”
“why? everyone knows she only screams danger so I think it’s better to finish her off if someone is capable of that so that this land will be in peace”
“I know. but she’s sister with Mertha. And I know you must’ve known about this right?”
“yeah. so whats the problem? I don’t think the Queen has a problem if she dies?”
“I know her enough. She actually hopes that her sister would change someday.”
There, she got the point of what he was trying to say more than he imagined she could. He didn’t want to kill Maria because of Queen Mertha. He didn’t want to hurt the queen cause it would hurt him too. Because he still loved her.
“Justin?” she said again breaking the silent in that night for the second time
“yeah?. don’t worry I’m not gonna fall asleep so you can just talk anything to me without worrying about me falling asleep and not listening to you” he smirked. She chuckled hearing him
“with all this situation that’s been going on lately, don’t you think that the Queen has changed her mind bout Maria would change someday?”
“are you saying that she actually wants to kill her now? I guess yeah. she somehow told me that anyway. and I could see it in her eyes she’s being serious. Besides, Maria’s been going crazier than ever now. It’s about time that Mertha figures it out that she’d never change”
“wait..you knew that she’d never change?”
“of course I knew. Once you commit to be a devil, you wont stop. That’s how it always works.”
“so, basically, you’re actually okay if you want to kill her?”
“of course. I just don’t wanna get involved with everything cause it’s not my job. There’s a queen here so that’s definitely her job”
She then felt stupid for her little theory a couple of minutes back then. she was wrong about him. What made her wonder now if he still loved the queen or not.
“you should get involved Justin. they need you” she said what was only supposed to be in her mind
“um sorry. I didn’t mean to say that” she said again as she realized of what she just said
“I don’t think so”
“what?”
“they don’t need me”
“no. they do. They really do. If they don’t, everything would be clear by now and she got killed already by now but I bet since you’re still here with me accompanying me to get out of here, she still must be around”
“I’m here to show you the way cause I know you don’t know”
“but knowing its you, you’d just show me the wood and let me walk out of this land myself. right?”
“yeah but I knew I actually care for you since the beginning if not, you wont be breathing right now”
She didn’t know what to feel about that. she bit her lips. She was actually happy to know that he cared because all this time she felt like he didn’t. she then sat in her position and fixed her messy hair. She actually had so much in her thought at the time being ever since she was asking about her blood being important for Neverland.
Justin then noticed that she was in thoughts. He then tried to tell something he thought she needed to know. so he looked at her for the first time in that night after the converstaion
“hey Alexis. I just..wanted to let you know that I actually care for you and I really do and I’m sorry if what I did didn’t show it at all to you.”
“yeah it’s okay. I understand. You don’t have to say sorry again and again I feel like we’re never going to meet again you know” she said as she looked him in the eyes. hearing what she said, he just looked at her without planning to respond her for that.
“uhmm.. Justin if you don’t..if you don’t wanna get yourself involved, its okay, its your choice, and I think my choice now is..” she said as she bit her lips
“hey, what are you thinking now?” he asked as he looked into her eyes, something he would do when he was being concern. He knew she had been in thoughts but he felt like it wasn’t so good.
“I’m just thinking that since you cant help Neverland because you don’t wanna get involved, I think I can, with this blood of mine”
“no what are you talking about? You can get yourself killed”
“I wont. I wont let that happen. I just wanted to help this land. I don’t wanna be selfish anymore. I know that this land needs me but what im doing is trying to get out of this land without doing something I know I can. Let me do this Justin. and show me how to do this”
“no. you’re gonna get yourself killed”
“I wont if you tell me how to do this”
“don’t be stubborn, Alexis.” He said and he stood up and that made her stand up to. she was now standing behind him.
“I don’t. I just wanna help. Whats so wrong about that?”
“because it’ll be just useless then if you’re gonna get killed in the end”
“how that am I going to be killed though? They say they only need my blood right?”
“and we don’t know how much of your blood we actually need to kill that bitch”
“what?”
“yeah” he turned around only to find out she was looking to the ground. He then held her chin to lift her head up
“that’s why the possibility of you getting killed is big”
She took a deep breath
“I’m sure you still want to see your family, friends and boyfriend. I’m sure you still wanna be with them” he said again to make her convinced that she was wrong for ever thinking she could help.
“you’re right. But we never know, if we haven’t tried”
“Akexis, you don’t understand what you’re talking about. It’s getting late, I think you should go to sleep now. We still have a long walk tomorrow.” He said
“Justin please?!” she begged and looked him in the eyes. he knew she was being serious but he couldn’t let her do that. that was too risky for her. he didn’t give her any sign to respond and that made her think to come up with something smart so he couldn’t say no anymore
“if you don’t wanna show me how to do that. that’s fine. I’ll know eventually. Besides I don’t need to ask for your permission to do this and I sure as hell don’t need to listen to you. so whatever you say or do wont change my decision. I’m going to the queen’s mansion tomorrow and no one can stop me even you.” she said as she then sat herself back again and paid her attention to the night sky.
Meanwhile, Justin was pissed off. He couldn’t believe that she was that stubborn. He didn’t even know what to do or feel at the moment. He then leaned himself to a tree not far from where Alex was. She finally fell asleep and usually he would take that chance to stare at her but that night he was too pissed off of how stubborn she was so he paid his only attention to the sky as he remained still with his position.